He Who Seeks, Will Find

"Ko te kai rapu 
Ko ia te kite" 
(He who seeks, will find)

Source

Cringe-worthy

I am cringing at my past posts in this blog. But definitely lol-worthy. Hahaha. To think I used to be so shallow and was a senseless, wannabe teenager. :P

Malaysia: My 2 Cents

While I was randomly surfing the Internet (as always) and found out that The Fault in Our Stars movie is slated to release on the 4th of September in Malaysia, so being a Twitter freak that I am, first thing to do is to tweet about it. I wanted to tag it as #firstworldproblem, because really, getting annoyed because the movie is set to premiere much later than the rest of the world highly counts as a legitimate problem, I realised that I'm not even sure whether Malaysia is a first world country.

Hence, using the trusty Google, turns out Malaysia is neither first world nor third world, or even second world. According to this Yahoo! Answers question, the terms first world, second world and third world are only relevant to the situation post World War II and cannot be truly applied in today's situations. As for Malaysia, it's a developing country, currently on its way to being a developed country. Specifically speaking, it's a newly industrialized country (NIC), in accordance to Wikipedia's article on developing country.

I really liked the best comment of the aforementioned Yahoo! Answers question, where the commenter aptly described Malaysia as a country "... filled with people of simple and sometimes under-developed mentality" and that most Malaysians "are easily influenced and that politicians and religious fanatics are taking advantage of that." How very true indeed. Of course, I'm not saying ALL Malaysians are like that, but generally speaking, Malaysians do come across as rather simple.

Personally, being someone who has only lived in Malaysia (Penang to be specific) for the past 3 years and with considerable lack of knowledge about Malaysia, I am ignorant to many facts. However, I can't help but think there's really huge room for improvement for us. We actually have abundance of resources to work on and improve our country's status. It's pretty sad to know what we could have been but cannot be due to issues which could be easily overlooked and resolved if only certain people aren't so darned fussy and sensitive.

Despite that, I still have hopes for this country. It's a lovely place and I would love to see to what new lengths we could achieve.

Back in business!

Whoo boy! I am back! Done with my degree studies, and due to certain personal circumstances, I am unable to find a job as of yet, therefore I am back to the blogging world! Hopefully I'll be able to keep my promise and stay in the blogging world periodically.

I also need to keep on writing to retain my vocabulary and grammar. It's deteriorating due to me constantly speaking in broken English in real life. D:

Future plans for the blog:

Seeing as this is a personal blog, I suppose I would start from scratch in posting quality reviews in a new blog. But this blog shall definitely remain active~

I suppose I can post more (quality) personal thoughts, and informal reviews on books and manga I read as well as dramas, movies and anime I watched. In the future, I may as well post reviews on snacks I ate and cafes I visited.

Till then~

Happy Chinese New Year~ Year of the Horse!

How is it that it's already the end of January? Felt so surreal.

Anyways, today is the first day of Chinese New Year / Lunar New Year. It's one of the biggest celebrations for Chinese people and everyone celebrating this festivity. We move on from the Year of the Snake and ushering the Year of the Horse.

I'm born in the Year of the Monkey and my zodiac sign pretty much had a quite bad year in the Year of the Snake. So far, based on the bits and pieces of horoscopes and predictions I've read and heard, it seems that my situation would continue to be slightly lacking in the Year of the Horse. Personally, I don't really believe too much in these sort of things. It's interesting to read and know, but in the end of the day, it can be quite unhealthy if you believe these type of things too much. For me, I would take into account my horoscope readings, think about it, but won't necessarily follow all the necessary steps it has asked me to do. 

2014. A New Year.

So I'm way long overdue in greeting the new year here in my blog. Assignments and spring cleaning took much of time, as well as the arrival of my Master's Sun Director's Cut DVD. 

Usually, the start of the new year is when everyone starts making the whole "new year, new me" goals and resolutions... well, I haven't actually got the time to truly, whole-heartedly, sit down and think of the new resolution and goals for 2014. However, going through the past few days, I see that 2014 will make no difference to me, just like 2013. I will still be mistreated by my aunts, I will still lack the independence to venture out my house, I will still be the lazy pig of the yesteryears. 

I'm not even frustrated or annoyed anymore, now I'm just indifferent. Sure, I do get mad once in a while, but compared to previous times, overall, I pretty much don't care anymore. It's almost like I've given up already. I'm not even sure why I exist anymore, such little meaning in my life, routinely wasting my life away, left to rot here... such is the life of me....

But then, who knows? Maybe 2014 will be a year of huge changes to my life, since it's going to be my last semester, graduation, then time to find a job.

Who knows...?

Happy 14th Anniversary, Gong Hyo Jin~ ❤

December 24th is Gong Hyo Jin's debut anniversary~ Happy 14th Anniversary, unnie~ :) ❤

And A Happy Christmas Eve to everyone~ :)

"I like the dark part of the night..."

“I like the dark part of the night, after midnight and before four-thirty, when it's hollow, when ceilings are harder and farther away. Then I can breathe, and can think while others are sleeping, in a way can stop time, can have it so – this has always been my dream – so that while everyone else is frozen, I can work busily about them, doing whatever it is that needs to be done, like the elves who make the shoes while children sleep.”

― Dave Eggers, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius

To a friend, you will be greatly missed

An ex-classmate had passed on last night. In this very difficult time, and through his death, I have finally learned the lesson that life is truly short and unpredictable. And life is fragile. We should cherish every single seconds of our life and live. Live as if it'll be our last on this Earth. Anything could happen at any time. For this fact, I grief and grief for the loss of that dear friend. Truly, you had been taken away from us far too soon. I trust that you are in a much better place right now, away from any pains and sufferings.

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal" - From a headstone in Ireland.

"Mourning is one of the most profound human experiences that it is possible to have... The deep capacity to weep for the loss of a loved one and to continue to treasure the memory of that loss is one of our noblest human traits." - Shneidman (1980)

"The deep pain that is felt at the death of every friendly soul arises from the feeling that there is in every individual something which is inexpressible, peculiar to him alone, and is, therefore, absolutely and irretrievably lost." - Arthur Schopenhauer

"When one person is missing the whole world seems empty." - Pat Schweibert, Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss

"We cannot prevent... the birds of sorrow from flying over our heads... but we can refuse... to let them build nests... in our hair." Ron Schreiber, The Birds of Sorrow

"I am always saddened by the death of a good person. It is from this sadness that a feeling of gratitude emerges. I feel honoured to have known them and blessed that their passing serves as a reminder to me that my time on this beautiful earth is limited and that I should seize the opportunity I have to forgive, share, explore, and love. I can think of no greater way to honour the deceased than to live this way." - Steve Maraboli

New semester... Final Year in College

Ah, how time had passed. To think it's already my final year. I think it's quite amazing that I'm already at the last few chapters of my degree life. It's somewhat unnerving and scary. After this, how should I proceed? What path should I take? How is my life going to change?

So much things to ponder on...

And I've yet to start any of the projects that I wanted to do. Sigh~

I have told myself time and time that I want to do this and that, I even made a whole list of it in my mind and also made several master lists in my Microsoft OneNote, not to mention several notebooks there too. Yet, lately I wonder, what is the purpose of me wanting to do all these if I just procrastinate, leave it aside, and end up being idle? Why must I stress on these matters? I might as well just delete the entire lists and go on with my life peacefully.

I have yet found the answers to those questions. But it's definitely something to think of.

May my final year of being a degree student be a productive and fulfilling one.

End of Internship and Happy Merdeka Day~

So, yesterday was my last day of internship at Eastern and Oriental Hotel Penang. I was actually quite looking forward to my last day at that hotel but now I somewhat missed the place. Well, just the place, not the job. I'll definitely be back to have a mini tour around the hotel and also visit the outlets. Definitely would love to try 1885.

Today is the National Day of Malaysia, also known as Merdeka Day.

Saddest Birthday Ever - My 21st Birthday

Last Thursday, 18th July 2013, was the most saddest birthday I have ever gone through in my life so far. To others, it was just another normal day. To me, it was depressing to know it's my birthday, a really special day to me, and yet other people treated it just like a normal day of no importance. My father didn't even call me and just sent a simple sms to me at 5pm. Last year he actually called in the early morning to remind my aunts that it's my birthday. =(

On the other hand, I managed to have a conversation with my mom, one of the good things that happened.

The other good thing on my birthday was Hot Caramel Macchiato.

I thought I had a complimentary slice of cake from Starbucks but when I went there, I didn't receive anything. I suppose I forgot to add in my personal details for that particular Starbucks card. In the end, I bought a slice of Blackforest cake from Bread History. It was just okay, nothing particular nice.

Seeing as it's my 21st birthday, I really expected something much better than this experience. I mean, it is my coming of age and an important transition in my life. Yet it ended up as nothing of any importance.... =(

"Are You Happy?"

I saw this in Tumblr and it really sums up my current state in my life.

"Are you happy?" is such a difficult question.
I always say yes, because I have friends,
I laugh at jokes, I go out a lot and have fun,
my life isn't as bad as it could be, and I don't 
have terrible problems. It could be worse.

But then, one night at 3 a.m. when I'm alone
still awake, lying in bed, thinking about life,
I find myself crying my heart out.
Suddenly I'm convinced that nobody likes me, or
nobody will ever like me. I feel horrible
and I question everything I had,

and I don't know if I was ever happy at all.

Busy with internship

I'm currently undergoing my internship and haven't had the time to update my blog for quite some time. I'm so tired after working from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. every day, where my feet and entire body were so sore. I can't even start my own personal project as I'm trying to sort things out.

Nevertheless, these next few days, I shall try to be organised and reshuffle some things in my life. Hopefully, I can maintain this orderliness for at least several months or more.

Ciao~

My Ideal Simple Life

I'm sure everyone had dreamed of becoming rich. I myself always dreamed to be rich and live in a big house. However, as I grow older, I came to realise that not everyone is destined to be rich (I'm considered to be in this category) and yet I seek to have a comfortable and content adult life.

I would like to get a decent job with decent pay and not so stressful working environment. Everyday, after work, maybe I could go visit the bookstore or go to a cafe. During the night, I would like to snuggle in my sofa, either reading my book or watching my shows. It'll be nice if I could make myself a warm cup of milk and eat some biscuits while watching my shows late at night. My house, while small, will be very warm and comfortable.

Well, just a random thought of mine. :-)

The Chronicles of Becoming a Shinhwa Changjo

This is a repost, with some edits, from my Shinhwa Tumblr post. Since I actually have a bit of time, this will be my tribute post to Shinhwa's 15th Anniversary.

So, this post is basically about how I first became a Shinhwa fan in 2006 and eventually became an official Shinhwa Changjo.

I first became a K-pop fan in 2005 thanks to the influence of my friends. They were all so crazy about DBSK at that time, which, naturally, I came to like too. In fact, they were my first K-pop bias. I initially thought they were the first ever Korean celebrities I ever liked, but then, at that time, I didn't know BoA was Korean (I was just a 13 year old kid with no access to Internet at home). I initially thought she was Japanese because I only listed to her Japanese songs at that time. So, realistically, BoA was the first ever Korean celeb I liked, and DBSK is my very first K-pop bias that turned me into a K-pop fan.

Fast forward to 2006, my friends kept finding new K-pop groups to listen to (they changed their bias groups quite frequently (-_-), from Super Junior, to Big Bang, then F.T. Island, then sometimes went back to Super Junior). I remembered at that time, my friends downloaded and were watching a show called "Battle Shinhwa". My friends were more interested in the contestants, especially the would-be members of Battle. I, on the other hand, became more interested in the Shinhwa members instead, specifically Andy. After all these years, I still remember this scene very clearly. It's the part where Andy called Minwoo and Hyesung during his break from his drama filming, and Hyesung called him Kiwi Prince and just kept on cursing throughout the whole phone call. LMAO! (Anyone interested, here's the link~)

By that time, Andy became my bias in Shinhwa. He's just so adorable. He was the only member I liked and bother to care for at that time. For some unknown reason, I really disliked Junjin a lot last time. I thought he was too cocky. I don't extremely hate him to the extent of being his anti-fan, but I just dislike him. I also thought Minwoo was a bit cocky. (Forgive me as I was then a young, naive and thoughtless 14 year-old kid)

I began to look for their songs so I requested my friends to give me any Shinhwa songs they had and also bought their albums (6th and 8th album), which are, pirated. (-_- It's really hard to find original albums in Brunei at that time, not so sure about now). Some of the Shinhwa songs that I really liked back then were Shout, Perfect Man, Brand New and most of the songs from the 6th and 8th album. I was totally in a fangirl-craze mode when it came to Andy. I kept refreshing his Soompi thread (good old days), saving pictures of him in my phone and basically daydreaming about him (lol). However, after a few months, I became less fanatic and returned back to DBSK. Funny thing was that whenever I'm through with any new K-pop bias, I will always return back to DBSK. It's safe to say I stayed very devoted to DBSK for many years.

Even though I wasn't that crazy about Andy anymore, I still enjoyed and regularly listened to Shinhwa songs as well as followed most of their news. After Andy, I began to like another member, Shin Hyesung. The main reason why I loved him: his angelic voice. It's so soothing, he definitely deserves to be called as the ballad prince. One of my favourite Hyesung songs is 그대라서 (Because of You). Hopefully he'll do more soft rock/rock ballad type of songs in his future solo albums. It suits him.

Throughout the years I had a few new K-pop group biases, most notably SS501 and 2PM. I finally had access to Internet in my home during these times and my fangirlism went on a whole different level. Between those years, around 2008, I ended up watching a then-new variety show, We Got Married. I watched it because my friend recommended this show to me. Plus, Andy's in it. Initially, I thought I would be so insanely jealous of Solbi for being paired up with Andy. Surprisingly, I really liked this couple a lot and actually wished them to end up together in real life. There was one episode where the rest of the Shinhwa members made an appearance. I remembered it was on their concert day. GOODNESS THAT WAST THE MOST HILARIOUS PART IN WGM HISTORY LOL! I was literally lmao with their antics. XD I think it was this part that kind of reignited my love for Shinhwa. I began searching some of their videos in Youtube, most notably Intimate Note and also one of their most famous, craziest interviews ever (Link! XD) Seriously, it's the most epic interviews. Definitely must watch.

As I grew older and finished high school, news of DBSK's lawsuit emerged and only 3 members, not all 5, left SM. DBSK was my first love (err, in a fangirl type of feeling, not real life... I'm not delusional okay) and they always said that they're going to be together forever. So, I couldn't help but felt extremely betrayed by the two members that stayed in SM. I have a strong dislike towards SM the company due to many reasons. When the issue first broke out and the months went by, I began to lose hope of DBSK ever becoming 5 ever again. By that time, I stopped listening to any new K-pop songs as I absolutely lose interest in K-pop. That was, until 2PM came along and I turned back to K-pop again. Long story short, I began liking 2PM when Jay's controversy came out and he withdrew from 2PM and went back to U.S. (so it was during September, I think). I really believed their bonds and when 2PM made lots of promises about Jay coming back to them several months later. However, during that fateful conference in February (I think, or was it in March? O.o), they made a complete 360 degree transformation and badmouthed Jay so much that I felt it was really despicable. I never felt so betrayed by a group before, not even DBSK's case. From then on, I took a long hiatus from the K-pop world. That betrayal, and the fact that there was too many rookie groups debuting just made me extremely turned off from K-pop. I think one of the reasons I'm so invested in K-pop groups is their bonds. So, whenever they broke their promise of staying together, I felt extremely betrayed.

Nevertheless, whenever there's news of the Shinhwa members being released from the army, I was so delighted and was constantly amazed at that fact that 2 years didn't really felt that long. ^_^ I also remembered clearly of the news of Shinhwa Company, and the creation of their Twitter, which I immediately followed. So, no matter what, I still felt attached to Shinhwa, though not in an intense way.

Fast forward to 2012, March. News of Shinhwa's comeback emerged. I was really looking forward to it and thought of watching some of their old videos in Youtube. Without knowing it, I spent the entire day watching tons of their old videos, including their infamous crazy interview. Even after so many years, that video never fails to crack me up so hard. XD I then watched their first ever variety show after 4 years hiatus, Win Win. Then, I visited their Soompi thread. Day by day, the number of videos I watched increased and my interest in Shinhwa grew again. I remembered thinking to myself, "Oh shit, am I going to go through the whole intense fanatic fangirlism process AGAIN?! AM I FALLING FOR SHINHWA, ALL OVER AGAIN?!"

The answer?

YES! I AM DEFINITELY IN LOVE WITH THEM AGAIN! And it isn't like last time, when I just like one member, BUT ALL 6 OF THEM! Even Junjin, whom I used to dislike so much. Guess I wasn't able to truly see their true self. =P

So, I began to intensely follow their news in Twitter, constantly refreshing the Shinhwa tag in Twitter, saving pics, bookmarking tons of things about them in Chrome (way too much, I haven't even tackle them till this day >.<), downloaded and watched all of the shows they appeared in (I even downloaded the Chinese subs, which I tend to avoid due to my absymal Chinese), immediately downloaded their 10th album upon its release (in fact, due to my impatience, I actually listened to the preview of their album in various Korean music sites. Yes, I was that desperate). It's upsetting that I didn't own a credit card (at that time, now's a different case heh). I would have bought their albums immediately. I did end up buying their 10th album Asia Edition though. Good thing it was so in Penang. Phew~ :)

It's been a year since their comeback. Shinhwa just held their 15th Anniversary concert in Seoul (while me twisting in jealousy at all the updates). Still haven't download all their fancams as I'm currently still rushing my assignment. >.< OTL Though my fangirlism isn't that fanatic everyday, somehow I felt really comfortable loving Shinhwa this way. I do think of them constantly but not so fanatically. It's almost like they're some friendly existence to me, where I care so much for their well-being. Kinda like being in an old married couple relationship type of feeling. If that makes any sense lol.

Though I had turned my back on most of my previous biases (especially 2PM, but I have no regrets for that), I think, no, I'm SURE that I would be a Shinhwa Changjo for life. Out of all the groups that made promises, I know that Shinhwa will always be the only group that will forever keep their promise. Now, I only hope for the ajusshis to quickly find their other halves and get married and have kids. Come on Shinhwa, you guys aren't young anymore. >.< Though, I'm expecting that Shinhwa is gonna drop some bombs this year. =P Maybe one or two members. I do wish either Dongwan or Andy to get married first though. Dongwan and Andy as first choice, then maybe Eric since he seems quite a family man. That, and the fact he left the concert venue with a lady in his arms is making the possibility of him getting married first higher. :P

Last but not least, Shinhwa, I love you so much. ^_^ Please stay healthy and live long lol.

Happy 15th Anniversary, Shinhwa

Today marks Shinhwa's 15th Anniversary. It's been 15 long years, a significant number, a great achievement made by any Korean group. Though I wasn't with them since the beginning, but I shall walk down the road with Shinhwa till my last breath.

2 Ma Luv... the 6 Perfect Man: Eric Mun Jung Hyuk, Lee Min Woo, Kim Dong Wan, Shin Hye Sung / Jung Pil Kyo, Jun Jin / Park Choong Jae and Andy Lee Sun Ho, I love and will always love you guys.

Shinhwa and SHCJ, 2gether 4ever. :)

Pictures credit to SHINHWA COMPANY OFFICIAL WEBSITE and mine (2nd pic).

P.S. Couldn't prepare much to celebrate Shinhwa's anniversary this year as I'm currently rushing my assignment. T_T Shall prepare cake or cupcakes next year. ^^ Or oranges. Or any food that is in orange colour lol.

Food for Thought: Discrimination

I do not understand why some people can discriminate other people just because of their race or religion. Looking at the behaviour of my aunts, as well as comments from various social network service, frankly speaking, I think it's stupid to stereotype people or race due to certain happenings in the past, or as a result of the stupidity of certain prominent people, like politicians.

Is it really necessary to hate on someone just because of his or her race, or even religion? Whatever happens to mutual respect? We, humans, are said to be the more intelligent species living on the face of the Earth. Yet, looking at the behaviour and action of certain people in the society made me think twice. There's no intelligence in such behaviour, nor even rationality.

I remember reading an article about this Korean show called Healing Camp and how one of the hosts, Lee Kyung Kyu, actually researched about homosexuality for Hong Suk Chun (who was known to be the first Korean celebrity to come out of the closet). Lee Kyung Kyu himself was initially strongly against Hong Suk Chun's appearance on the show due to his own beliefs (as he was from the older generation of Korean people) and also other factors such as unintentionally hurting Hong Suk Chun by bringing up past painful memories. However, in the end, he relented as he believed that the show 'Healing Camp' should be able to handle any subjects of whatsomatter. Hence, he learned more about homosexuality so that he could understand Hong Suk Chun and will be able to conduct the interview in a professional manner, without unintentionally offend him. Full article here.

Lee Kyung Kyu's action is really applaudable. He was still able to conduct the interview in a professional and respectful manner, despite the fact that his beliefs have not changed. And this is what I think people should do more. It is understandable that people have different opinions and beliefs, which they have the right to think so, since they firmly believe on it. Some people may not be able to accept homosexuality or dislike other people due to their race or religions. However, no matter how much you mistreat gay people or people of other races, they will still exist in this world and also in our society. You may have to even interact with some of them due to certain circumstances. It would have been better if people actually learn to tolerate this reality and not mistreat or insult those people. Then, our society will be able to progress on another level. Because, in the end of the day, regardless of our race, religion, skin colour or even sexual orientation, aren't we all just the same human beings, living in this world?

Happy Chinese New Year 新年快乐, 蛇年行大运!

It's finally the time of the year for the biggest celebration for the Chinese people: Chinese / Lunar New Year! This year is the year of the Snake and living in an island vastly populated by Chinese people means there's a lot of red all over. In fact, yesterday evening was the first time I ever see Penang so empty as all the Chinese people went back to their homes for the reunion dinner.

Well, hopefully the year of the Snake will be a good year to me. Everyone, 新年快乐! :)

Movie Review: The Tower (타워)

Disclaimer: This movie review may contain spoilers. Please take note.

Plot: The Tower (타워) is a Korean disaster movie about how a luxury skyscraper (known as Sky Tower) caught fire in the eve of Christmas and the struggle of the people, both the victims and the firefighters, trying to survive and escape from the skyscraper. Officially released on Christmas Day in 2012, The Tower was directed by Kim Ji Hoon and starred Sol Kyung Gu, Kim Sang Kyung and Son Ye Jin as the leading roles.

Thoughts: I actually had no initially idea on who were the main leads for this movie so I was pleasantly surprise to see Son Ye Jin in this movie. Being an avid fan of K-dramas, I could recognize almost all of the key casts in this movie, such as Kim In Kwon, Lee Han Wi, Kim Sung Oh (haven't seen him since Secret Garden), Park Cheol Min, Cha In Pyo, Jung In Ki and even Hyun Young (honestly, you can never miss her iconic voice).

Though this movie is primarily about escaping the Sky Tower and the disaster that commences, this movie manages to add in a bit of humour (especially scenes pertaining to In Gun, the assistant chef, as well as the Christian group), slight melodrama, emotional familial ties and sacrifices. I do think one main difference between Korean and American movies is that Korean movies are able to execute the emotional scenes much better. You have the main character, a single father who fears for the safety of his daughter and loved ones, and had to undergo the painful possibility of being separated from them; you have the old lady cleaner, whose only wish is to hand over the money she painstakingly earned for her son's tuition fee; the captain of the firefighter, who finally realised that at the very end, he has to sacrifice his life to save the lives of the rest of the people (I honestly was on the verge of bawling in the cinema at this particular scene, when he recorded a voice message for his wife at the very end). It is possibly the most heart-wrenching and emotional moment in the entire movie.

The CGI and the visual effects of the movie are quite well done and realistic in my opinion. I think the director used a blend of CGI and real life action to execute some of the scenes in the movie. The actors and actresses did their job quite well, though there wasn't any particularly strong performances. The plot and script is passable, not particularly bad yet not particularly spectacular.

Nevertheless, I highly recommend this movie as it is one of the better disaster action movies I had seen so far.

Overall rating: 8 out of 10. :)